What does financial planning mean? Seriously, we don’t know.
Because it really is too hard to just stand up and take a walk.
Why throw out old paperwork when you can light it on fire? Cozy up with all your trash, compacted into a convenient fireplace log.
Shower beer? Or post-shower whiskey? Fix a bad hair day in more than one way.
With floors this clean, nobody will know just how lazy you really are.
Not all mice are the same. This retro styled pixel mouse is pretty perfectly nerdy.
There’s no time like math time.
Is it drafty in here, or is that just my awesome bed fan keeping my feet cold at night?
Monograms: not just for towels!
You may look like an astronaut, but you will be warm and dry. And awesome.
Buckle up with a beer, and never have friends again!
Fartlight combines the two most common apps for Android – Fart + Flashlight. And you thought your flashlight app couldn’t get more useful.
Just as douche-y as an actual Lamborghini at a fraction of the price!
I love the smell of mischief in the morning.
Like in a Quentin Tarantino movie, all things deserve to be shot.
Sometimes there’s a fine line between genius and kind of gross.
Face it, if you’re still at the age where model cars are fun, this is way better than a Ferrari.
Sure, you could use the Force to open that beer, but this is so much easier.
Stop picking pencils out of your nose!
Important question: does this thing come with a vomit bag?
Give the gift of sobriety with a puzzle that can only possibly be solved by a sober person.
You’re going to have to drink more if you want to hit that A sharp.
Just be careful not to get a BUI…
Talk to the hand! Seriously.
It’s the future. Your spoon is useless.
As you rock, the chair knits you a hat. Voila!
They discovered the god particle, and all you got was this watch.
Now you can be a couch potato anywhere… Anywhere!
Apple’s less impressive other offering.
Just like spin the bottle, except your “7 minutes of heaven” is spent kissing the porcelain god.
A keyboard for your inner Ron Swanson. Wireless and made of premium maple.
Save your phone from scratches and make it look like it’s from 1989.
A Swiss army knife so big it’ll take ten minutes to find the nail file.
Drumming your fingers on the table is child’s play. Step up your game.
You’ll still look like a weirdo, but at least you’re not going to fall off.