The only way to have a beer belly and a six pack at the same time.
Make your vodka taste less like vodka…and more like bourbon, gin, absinthe or anything else your liver desires.
The hoodie that makes you look like Princess Leia.
He’s your best friend, he won’t mind wearing it.
Sure, you could use a knife…but where’s the fun in that?
Has your cat gone insane? Get them this cat straight jacket.
It’s the calendar equivalent of unicorns and rainbows.
Live long, and eat pizza!
Buckle up with a beer, and never have friends again!
Getting a Long Island iced tea is like rolling double sixes.
You are what you eat…which, in this case, means you are delicious!
Innovation in hot sauce. Shake well, then choose exactly how hot you want your sauce.
The rows are perfectly sized to fit lasagne noodles – every piece is a perfect edge piece. What else can you make crispy?
Finally a world map made from mustaches. For the gentlemanly domicile.
Why by a jar when you can buy a box? Guaranteed to make you popular.
See the rings of Saturn with this bad boy. The Celestron AstroMaster Home Telescope. Yes, it’s an actual image from the telescope.
Everything you need to make 6 Gallons of wine? What? You have to buy this.
Maybe a ping pong table isn’t in the cards, but for under $20 you can set up a game of ping pong anywhere.
Comes framed, so it must be art. Play him off, keyboard cat…
From toppled dictatorship to available at Amazon (with free super saver shipping).
The horse head and smoking jacket combo. You’ve spent too much time on the internet.
Why hire a gardener, when you can pay even more for a robot?
The audacity of poop.
Looks like pie, tastes like bacon. Fun fact: weighs over seven pounds.
Just make sure nobody pees on Park Place.
Sometimes there’s a fine line between genius and kind of gross.
Real men love cats. It’s true.
The 1965 Shelby Mustang. Some cars are too beautiful to gather dust in the garage.
Each ticket looks like it wins $20,000 or more. Makes a particularly cruel April Fool’s joke.
This Magnetic Stand will levitate objects up to 12 ounces. Very cool way to display your stuff.
Cool way to display photos. Comes with speech balloons.
Have your face oil painted into a Chinese communist propaganda painting.
The best idea for a cookbook ever? If you like rooster sauce, it’s worth the $11.
Admit it, you still like playing with bouncy balls. Helium-filled “Sky Balls” are the best. They can bounce over 75 feet.
Bring cutting edge cooking home – spherification, iced airs, and more. Who needs El Bulli anyway?
See blue skies even on the rainiest of days.
The only way to lighten up your wallet without spending cash.
Life just got a lot more pixelated.
Your dog won’t know how silly he looks.
The perfect glass for pounding pinot.
Experience digital fridge poetry.
Just as douche-y as an actual Lamborghini at a fraction of the price!
I love the smell of mischief in the morning.
A ring of Lady Gaga-esque proportions. We don’t actually know what this is, but it is crazy awesome.
Because the Internet.
Holds 6 soft footballs. Shoots up to 500 feet. We’re one step closer to robot football.
Bacon and Frosting, two perfect foods combined. So deliciously gross.
Carries 24 cans and 8 lbs of ice – while going 13 miles per hour.
The possibilites are endless. Paint Circuits anywhere (except your skin).
Comes with special ice trays, so you can use it all year round.
Monkeys enslaved to serve you delicious tea. The real start to Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
When you’re feeling sad, you need tissues that match your mood. Tissue Noir.
For when you stop respecting your insides. Nothing says classy like a jug of hot sauce.
Now you only need one thing for your french fries.
Possibly the grossest flavor ever.
Simply called ‘Cream.’ 15% alcohol by volume.
In case of natural disaster, at least you’ve got your priorities straight. Includes food, litter, treats and more.
Easily the best Jay Leno Che Guevara shirts available.
Fashion Cats, aka: how to start a war with your kitty. Because there is no way your cat is going to take this lying down, in pink ruffles.
Face it, if you’re still at the age where model cars are fun, this is way better than a Ferrari.