The Action Trackchair. More mobility, now you can crush cars under your tank tread.
There are so many things you don’t want to do… now you have an excuse.
Your necklace has failed to load. Great for forever alones everywhere.
Show some retro pride. Make your iphone look like the first portable electronic device you ever owned.
Tabasco Family Reserve. For the distinguished hot sauce consumer – usually only available to the fanciest of gentlemen and gentleladies.
Much safer than the traditional Russian Roulette, unless you fill the balloons with bullets.
Ready to go when you need it. Contains fishing hook, duct tape, matches, whistle, signal mirror, razor blade, fire starter cube, chewing gum, etc…
Live out your dreams of being on a Japanese game show. Whatever you do, don’t throw up in the ball.
Did you grow up loving Calvin and Hobbes? This is the ultimate, complete collection. 1440 pages.
Because who doesn’t want to look like a pig (or a cow, or a dog) when they drink too much coffee?
A floating island makes that hole-in-one even more elusive (but so much more fun).
The Stars my Underpants.
A Swiss army knife so big it’ll take ten minutes to find the nail file.
Perfect for your next tailgate.
Now you won’t burn yourself trying to roast marshmallows on your gas stove.
Because face it, you really are that lazy.
Bring into the office for guaranteed awkward social interaction all morning.
The classy to do when decorating your own place is make it look like your childhood dreams.
Hey girl … nice lobes.
Didn’t get enough winter? Now you can make your own snow at home. Add water and it expands over 100 times. Dry it out and it’s reusable.
Pants with a built-in picnic table. Designed in Italy, so they must be fashionable.
Drink the way you’re supposed to. “If whisky don’t kill me, I’ll live til I die.”
An oldy, but a goody. For working or eating on the go. Please check out all the customer images on Amazon.
You can now get your own R/C Model of a Predator Drone. Bring surveillance stateside!
Easily the most fun you can have for under $30. Better than all those crappier cheap remote control helicopters, this is the gift to get.
Just because your drinking tastes aren’t refined, doesn’t mean you can’t be fashionable.
Dry… or dry not. There is no try. The best bathrobe ever, it is.
Why settle for a boring old float, when you can have an island? Fits eight people, and has a built in stereo system and drink cooler.
Oooh fun! But wait – is that a crack in the sidewalk? Yup, you’re screwed.
As good as a keg, and even more delicious.
Now you can be a couch potato anywhere… Anywhere!
Your breath smells like cholesterol!
It’s just like shoving play-doh in your mouth, except it’s chocolate.
For the tech-savvy feline from 1998.
You’ve got legs that go on for days, and I’ve got 20/20 vision.
Someone out there gets to list buying beer as a “business expense,” and I think we can all agree to support that noble soul. Rock on, cowboy.
Yes, it’s a saddle for dads. Because when you’ve lost your dignity, there’s no point in trying to get it back.
Nixie Tubes were developed in the 1950s to display numerals. These clocks are built from old-stock space-race-era Russian parts.
An exercise bike specifically designed to be used while you’re on your laptop or playing video games. Amazing reviews on Amazon.
Bricks made to look like the original Gamboy. Imagine someone coming across these in 100 years.
Boldly going where millions of other pizza cutters have gone before. Read the reviews at Amazon for more Star Trek references.
No longer worry about losing your guitar picks. Now you can make them from almost any sheet of plastic.
The apron that makes you a better cook.
No embarrassing story ever started with someone eating a salad, either.
The lamp that can kick your ass. Uses a rail system so you can completely customize how it’s set up.
Make cold beers come to you.
Artisinal food from your local vending machine.
They discovered the god particle, and all you got was this watch.
Arguably worse for you than actual drugs.
Is that a planet in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Nothing says ‘I love you’ like an ice cold beer.
So very comfortable, unless you want to move your head.
What does financial planning mean? Seriously, we don’t know.
Made from 100% beef. Get 30 with each order. Make a really delicious Bloody Mary, or a really gross anything else.
When you can’t get Dippin’ Dots, at least you can still get the Astronaut equivalent.
Carve your own postcard. You can carve something sweet, or something more unsavory – it’s up to you!
So sweet and so creepy. Pretty cheap for one of the most unique gifts you could get someone. Great for Mother’s day.
For making your fancy drinky-drinks. These trays really do make excellent ice cubes.
Finally afford a tuxedo that fits like a glove… and leaves nothing to the imagination.