Spend more quality time on the throne. Standard features include a candleholder and bell.
Set your friend up with a girl he’ll enjoy. “I’m only watching Love Actually because my girlfriend (pillow) wanted to.”
The apron that makes you a better cook.
The cutest shark you’ll ever see.
The full bottle wine glass holds an entire bottle of wine. No one will know you’ve lost complete control of your life.
The temporary tattoo that’ll really get you some attention…
Maybe a ping pong table isn’t in the cards, but for under $20 you can set up a game of ping pong anywhere.
Because after a few cold ones, even the best of us turn into babies.
Some days, you just gotta put on a blue suit and dance your sorrows away.
Hope your holiday party isn’t a sinking ship.
The rows are perfectly sized to fit lasagne noodles – every piece is a perfect edge piece. What else can you make crispy?
You’ll still have to say “ching!” at the end of each line.
Make the perfect mix and give it a name. Mixed and Bottled in Scotland, and yes, they do ship to the USA.
You’ve got plenty of left over wine bottles… why not put them to use?
Drive a 120,000 pound Chieftain tank over two cars for a surprisingly affordable price. Dreams do come true.
Because every little girl dreams of being a robot.
You’ll be the belle of the (costume) ball. Perfect for that Lady Gaga costume.
Do you like vodka sodas, but hate sobriety? The champagne of pure vodka.
This Mitt Romney wants to clean up more than just the economy.
It’s just one gummy bear – it’s not going to break your diet! (except this one is 5 lbs and 12,000 calories)
The Spike Your Juice Kit: turn any bottle of fruit juice into a sparkling alcoholic drink in 48 hours.
Even the baby in the picture looks a bit skeptical about this one.
Yes, you can buy ladybugs online. Ladybugs… everywhere.
Someone out there gets to list buying beer as a “business expense,” and I think we can all agree to support that noble soul. Rock on, cowboy.
For the cat lover who has finally gone completely insane.
As you lie awake, unable to sleep, you pray that maybe, just maybe, Batman will see the signal on your wall and come save you from yourself…
Sometimes you want your toilet paper to look like tissues. – said no one ever
Now you can exploit your own farm labor. If you like coffee it’s worth learning more about the plant. Really cheap, fun gift.
Important question: does this thing come with a vomit bag?
There’s just something about acrobatics and sleeping that go perfectly together.
They discovered the god particle, and all you got was this watch.
Get one step closer to using your grill for everything. This thing has incredible reviews.
Sick of throwing dead goldfish down the toilet? Try an electronic one! Looks like a goldfish, acts like a goldfish, and never dies!
Go green with this desktop computer made from recycled cardboard and parts. 4gb ram, 3.0 ghz cpu, and 500gb hdd.
The teddy bear you sleep on.
Very Gothic Chic.
Make your vodka taste less like vodka…and more like bourbon, gin, absinthe or anything else your liver desires.
The most satisfying calendar ever. 365 days of bubble wrap popping.
Did you grow up loving Calvin and Hobbes? This is the ultimate, complete collection. 1440 pages.
Hide your pooch with a pooch.
Oh so that’s what you’re supposed to do with all those books you didn’t read in high school.
It’s a koozie! It’s a football! You’re a douchebag!
Not going to be very effective in a jousting match, but at least it’ll keep your head warm!
See the rings of Saturn with this bad boy. The Celestron AstroMaster Home Telescope. Yes, it’s an actual image from the telescope.
Despite the name, this is a very good product. Keep your wine at the perfect temperature, not too hot or too cold… Then use it to stab your enemies.
Keep this razor in your wallet, ready for any emergency shaving.
Back to the future…of crazy hats.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Kitsch-mas…
11 x 17 print, signed. Yes, Honest Abe is using the American flag as a saddle.
Easily the most fun you can have for under $30. Better than all those crappier cheap remote control helicopters, this is the gift to get.
Finally, a way to make your hamburgers look like hot dogs! So practical.
This beach ball is probably more than twice your height.
For your little “Captain Kirk.”
Too hot? Too cold? Too sexy for your sleeping bag?
Will glow green… and brown.
Why settle for a boring old float, when you can have an island? Fits eight people, and has a built in stereo system and drink cooler.
Make your cat a business cat. “I need you to stay late tonight…. we really have to catch that red dot.”
Keep it in your trunk, and no matter where you are, grab a pina colada and pretend you’re relaxing at the beach.
The Glencairn glass is the perfect way to drink whisky. The shape amplifies the aromas. If you love whisky, you need one.
Someone’s having a case of the Mondays.