Sometimes you want your toilet paper to look like tissues. – said no one ever
Arguably looks better than pee on the seat.
What has your baby done for you recently?
Let your cat know that you’d rather have a dog.
Cover up your hairy feet, with hairy feet.
Trick your bike out like an eco-gangsta with this miniature, portable planter.
Completely sealed with live shrimp. Command nature! People have kept them alive for over 12 years.
Each ticket looks like it wins $20,000 or more. Makes a particularly cruel April Fool’s joke.
Girls love it when you cook for them. What could go wrong?
Like in a Quentin Tarantino movie, all things deserve to be shot.
As you reach down to plug in your computer, you’ll know that at least you have your outlet friends.
When beer is made of breakfast, does that mean it’s ok to have for breakfast?
It’s just like shoving play-doh in your mouth, except it’s chocolate.
It’s like having a segway for each leg. These electric roller skates have up to a 6 mile range.
Awesomely annoying, and terrifyingly effective.
You can’t afford the car, and now you also can’t afford the chair.
An oldy, but a goody. For working or eating on the go. Please check out all the customer images on Amazon.
Make the perfect burger or grilled cheese – or go ahead and make a peanut butter and bacon jam sandwich.
Everything you need to make 6 Gallons of wine? What? You have to buy this.
Use color producing chemicals to change the color of your fireplace, bonfire, or tiki torch… Probably not dangerous?
Walk out of the shower smelling like you just walked out of a frat house.
Because after a few cold ones, even the best of us turn into babies.
Disco fever in the shower. Yeah, baby.
Webbed swimming gloves. Swim as fast as you would have if you’d been born with webbed fingers.
Just be careful not to get a BUI…
Why by a jar when you can buy a box? Guaranteed to make you popular.
You may look like an astronaut, but you will be warm and dry. And awesome.
Use your Super Nintendo controller on your Computer. Play games like a champ. You can get a used SNES controller for a couple bucks on Ebay.
When you really think about it, using any other towel is just gross.
You know the American version. The Japanese version is much more exciting (more tentacles). Use it to make your scalp feel even better.
The solar system is yours… to lick.
Are all your friends slobs? Get the Dress for Dinner Napkin.
In case of natural disaster, at least you’ve got your priorities straight. Includes food, litter, treats and more.
Drive a 120,000 pound Chieftain tank over two cars for a surprisingly affordable price. Dreams do come true.
Know what you’re getting yourself into. Accurately measure out servings.
It’s not going to keep you warm, but it will keep you nerdy.
Getting a Long Island iced tea is like rolling double sixes.
Quick! Call 9-1-1. I need a Mustache, stat!
Let your fingers do the skating…and the body checking.
Now you’ll feel bad for more reasons than just eating too much General Tso’s Chicken.
The best present you could possibly give a four year old boy.
Giant inflatable boxing glove – an unsafe toy for kids and adults alike!
The most comfortable headphones to wear while sleeping. Now you can finally sleep with Justin Bieber.
Your stick family was delicious.
Recreate the scene from Ed Helms’ wedding at the end of the masterpiece The Hangover 2.
Fool them into thinking you can actually wrap gifts with colorful washi tape that looks like pretty ribbons, even though it’s just masking tape.
This Easter, delight your kids with…bunny brains!!
It’s like LEGOs for tiny people. 3 inches by 3 inches with 550 pieces!
Easily the best Jay Leno Che Guevara shirts available.
In 1910, light bulbs were as cool as iPhones and Androids are today. Add a touch of history to your place.
Sure, you could use a knife…but where’s the fun in that?
For when you can’t keep your claws off the meat.
Pour yourself a big whiskey, and color in your favorite Mad Man/Liz Lemon Boyfriend/Douchebag-in-a-Porsche.
Will glow green… and brown.
The iPhone headset – Look like you’re serious business. Also works with some new Macbooks.
We know you’re thinking it. Now you can stamp it. (Also good for fans of the podcast).
You’ll be the belle of the (costume) ball. Perfect for that Lady Gaga costume.
Comes with special ice trays, so you can use it all year round.