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Get the best view of your veggies while they grow.

Fits into any regular light bulb socket. Comes with a remote control to change between 16 colors and set transitions.

Carve your own postcard. You can carve something sweet, or something more unsavory – it’s up to you!

Unofficial kit made by David Cole. Very cool, comes with hand-drawn instructions. 60-ish pieces.

24 inch by 36 inch poster of the legendary actor, diabetes spokesman, and walrus impersonator.

Have your face oil painted into a Chinese communist propaganda painting.

So sweet and so creepy. Pretty cheap for one of the most unique gifts you could get someone. Great for Mother’s day.

A real $100 Trillion Zimbabwean Dollar note. Own a piece of hyperinflation history from a modern day Weimar Republic.

Will glow green… and brown.

“Hey Bros, check out my new seven foot bean bag.”

Say you’re getting it for the articles, really read it for the pictures. Fold out centerfold in each issue (for real).

Arguably looks better than pee on the seat.

Completely sealed with live shrimp. Command nature! People have kept them alive for over 12 years.

Coasters made from vintage vinyl records. (Not world record roller coasters).

“I felt a haunting loneliness sometimes, and felt it in others–young clerks in the dusk, wasting the most poignant moments of night and life.”

Finally a world map made from mustaches. For the gentlemanly domicile.

Never have to worry about buying those damn C and D batteries again.

An exercise bike specifically designed to be used while you’re on your laptop or playing video games. Amazing reviews on Amazon.

The perfect color to paint your car (or bicycle).

Cool way to display photos. Comes with speech balloons.

Great place to keep your valuables safe. Maybe this explains those outlets that never seem to work.

The possibilites are endless. Paint Circuits anywhere (except your skin).

It’s like a lottery scratcher, except you don’t win anything but a map showing where you’ve been and where you still need to go.

No one really wants what they put on their wedding registry, instead you should get them a set of these.

Have a beer in the shower. Comes in 3 styles, Lager, Brown Ale, and Black Chocolate Stout.

You no longer need to guess that the top knuckle of your thumb is one inch. The Cardstick is cheap and surprisingly useful.

Looks like we’re going to have to add a fourth law of robotics. #4 Oversteeped robot tea will be slightly bitter.

Make no mistake, when your steak is at stake use the steak button. (Stick it in the side to make it easy to flip).

Only 125 times more expensive than regular straws. Stop wasting plastic, get 4 stainless straws that will last a lifetime.

Now you can exploit your own farm labor. If you like coffee it’s worth learning more about the plant. Really cheap, fun gift.

11 x 17 print, signed. Yes, Honest Abe is using the American flag as a saddle.

Who are we kidding? You’ll probably still be too lazy to use these. If you do find the time, they would make cleaning the floor easier.

Store so much more beer in your fridge.