Just because your drinking tastes aren’t refined, doesn’t mean you can’t be fashionable.
Dry… or dry not. There is no try. The best bathrobe ever, it is.
Why settle for a boring old float, when you can have an island? Fits eight people, and has a built in stereo system and drink cooler.
Oooh fun! But wait – is that a crack in the sidewalk? Yup, you’re screwed.
As good as a keg, and even more delicious.
Now you can be a couch potato anywhere… Anywhere!
Your breath smells like cholesterol!
It’s just like shoving play-doh in your mouth, except it’s chocolate.
For the tech-savvy feline from 1998.
You’ve got legs that go on for days, and I’ve got 20/20 vision.
Someone out there gets to list buying beer as a “business expense,” and I think we can all agree to support that noble soul. Rock on, cowboy.
Yes, it’s a saddle for dads. Because when you’ve lost your dignity, there’s no point in trying to get it back.
Nixie Tubes were developed in the 1950s to display numerals. These clocks are built from old-stock space-race-era Russian parts.
An exercise bike specifically designed to be used while you’re on your laptop or playing video games. Amazing reviews on Amazon.
Bricks made to look like the original Gamboy. Imagine someone coming across these in 100 years.
Boldly going where millions of other pizza cutters have gone before. Read the reviews at Amazon for more Star Trek references.
No longer worry about losing your guitar picks. Now you can make them from almost any sheet of plastic.
The apron that makes you a better cook.
No embarrassing story ever started with someone eating a salad, either.
The lamp that can kick your ass. Uses a rail system so you can completely customize how it’s set up.
Make cold beers come to you.
Artisinal food from your local vending machine.
They discovered the god particle, and all you got was this watch.
Arguably worse for you than actual drugs.
Is that a planet in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Nothing says ‘I love you’ like an ice cold beer.
So very comfortable, unless you want to move your head.
What does financial planning mean? Seriously, we don’t know.
Made from 100% beef. Get 30 with each order. Make a really delicious Bloody Mary, or a really gross anything else.
When you can’t get Dippin’ Dots, at least you can still get the Astronaut equivalent.
Carve your own postcard. You can carve something sweet, or something more unsavory – it’s up to you!
So sweet and so creepy. Pretty cheap for one of the most unique gifts you could get someone. Great for Mother’s day.
For making your fancy drinky-drinks. These trays really do make excellent ice cubes.
Finally afford a tuxedo that fits like a glove… and leaves nothing to the imagination.
Ever knock your drink onto your computer? If you only had one of these…
Peter Piper Picked a Pack of Paper Noses. No? That’s not how it goes?
Your kid is more of a man than you are.
They’re extra fuzzy.
The solar system is yours… to lick.
The Litter Kwitter Cat Toilet Training System. Do you really think your cat is smart enough?
Get your pet the food dish he deserves.
It’s a postcard! It’s a garden! It’s the perfect way to remind your friend of her brown thumb!
Channel your inner old man and keep this in the corner of your mouth at all times.
Monograms: not just for towels!
It’s creepy, it’s crawly, and it would eat you whole if it could…
About $10,000 per bag. If you can’t figure out how to tape it back together, maybe you can use it as padding for gifts.
The Drivemocion – Display 16 different LED images to the car behind you. Some of them are not very nice.
The Laptop Drawtop – turn your laptop into an erasable notepad.
Make the perfect mix and give it a name. Mixed and Bottled in Scotland, and yes, they do ship to the USA.
A magnetic fluid that is unquestionably the work of the Devil. This stuff looks so crazy.
Completely sealed with live shrimp. Command nature! People have kept them alive for over 12 years.
Make the perfect burger or grilled cheese – or go ahead and make a peanut butter and bacon jam sandwich.
Turn your $1,500 MacBook Pro into a battery recharging station.
Looks like Disney is already making some changes with the Star Wars franchise.
It’s like an Easy-Bake Oven for the summer.
Because every little girl dreams of being a robot.
Just like spin the bottle, except your “7 minutes of heaven” is spent kissing the porcelain god.
If you’re going to eat ice cream, you may as well have a scoop as big as your head.
Give the gift of sobriety with a puzzle that can only possibly be solved by a sober person.